Sometimes I think I’m really queer. Then I see a video like this and realize that I would be so much queerer, if only I were a musician and a performer. I’m not normally a reposter, but I don’t have much to say. I saw this on Diana Cage’s blog, which really is worth bookmarking.
I recently became obsessed with Details magazine. As a teenager and young adult, I never looked at it, knowing that the women’s counterparts, like Vogue and Cosmo, were meant for me. I ignored those as well and lived my life in jeans and t-shirts, bereft of style and clueless to fashion. When I started to identify as more of a man than a woman, I was able to find at least a small portion of mass-market media that appealed to me, most of it targeted to males. And, to my shock, Details is not a trashy, low-brow, guilty pleasure; it’s actually a good magazine.
The covers of Details rule (Zac Efron pictured here). There is always a ridiculously attractive man piercing you with a glare, his eyes coy, solemn, and earnest. A Rod Steward song picks up in my head: If you want my body and you think I’m sexy, come on, sugar, buy this magazine.
Michael Chabon, Pulitzer Prize winning author of The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (as well as the books, The Mysteries of Pittsburgh and Wonder Boys), writes a monthly column. Augusten Burroughs writes a monthly column. Unlike other mainstream mags, Details acknowledges and includes its gay audience (Gay or Straight?), which I think of as a no-brainer, considering the cover and the contents.
Details also acts as an instructional manual on men’s fashion. Sadly, due my ill-fitting female body, articles about choosing the right suit or vest don’t work for me, as I’m often relegated to any suit or vest that fits. But those on choosing a cologne or working with neckware–scarves, bow ties, and ties–help immensely. Everyone has secrets, great embarrassing shames, like being unable to read or drive a stick shift. Mine (other than the stick shift one), is that I cannot tie a tie. A few weeks ago, on the BART platform, a comedy performer in costume asked if anyone could tie her tie for her. She turned directly to me and said, “I’m sure you can.” I looked down at my running shoes and nodded my head no. I watched on as someone else did it, deflated and feeling sorry for myself and my pathetic masculinity. But perusing Details’ online content, I came across this godsend of a video, amongst many others. If this is too simple for you, check out the bow tie instructional.
Gay or Straight? Gay, for sure.
Unable to stop procrastinating, I came across the following Details video, a Craigslist personal ad turned into a music video. Seriously. The lyrics are taken from a real post. This is for everyone who has lost days of their lives obsessed with finding the most bizarre Craigslist personals.
About four years ago, I was working on a one-woman show about my dating debacles, perpetual singlehood, and fundamental inability to find a girlfriend. I planned to make a video of me and my substitute lover, Dilderina, but only got as far as the pictures (taken by Zippy). And so, this post completes an old unfinished project. For those of you who didn’t know me for the two years I had dreads, I have a head full of them in this video. I say this to quell the shock. Because when the video played to test audiences (receiving rave reviews) there were some individuals too mesmerized by my dreads and former appearance to enjoy the unfolding of the love story. If the dreads jar you on the first go around, feel free to watch it twice. Or instead of Where’s Waldo, pretend you are playing Where’s Dilderina.
Dilderina is one of a kind, manufactured by Dede on the premises of Vixen Creations. I received Dilderina as a present for my 23rd-ish birthday. I wanted a mail-order girlfriend. I received a paper-mache breast filled with sex toys. In the end, there wasn’t much difference.